Are You Content When God Answers Your Prayers with “NO?” | Content Ambition
The most dreaded words my wife can hear — "what do you want to eat?" The terrorizer of indecision rears its ugly head. My wife, fitting the trope of many women, does not like to make a choice in this minor decision. It increases her stress index over a matter that has minimal impact unless we pick Taco Bell, which will have maximal impact in all the wrong places.
So I have learned to give her options. This way, if she chooses one, great. If she is unsure about both, then we can come up with more options. Sometimes, if there is something that I would like, or if I want to eat out rather than cook at home, I will give a less-than-desirable option and my preferred option. This also happens between what I would say is the responsible option (i.e., eating at home) or the rambunctious option (going out to eat). When I do this, I expect her to choose the responsible option more times than not.
So what happens when she surprises me with choosing the viable option that I gave her?
I shouldn't be surprised.
What happens when we pray to God and say, "Lord, if you want me to do this, open the door, and if you don't, close the door" and he closes the door even when we really thought he was going to open it?
We shouldn't be surprised.
The account of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and the fiery furnace in Daniel 3 is what many of us refer to. These young men were exiled into Babylon and trained in the king's court to give their allegiance to their new king. As the king institutes an edict that all shall bow down to the golden statue whenever music is played, these three men resist and maintain their allegiance to the God of Israel. Even though all other people fall down and worship the golden statue, they do not. Some of the Chaldeans, the local people, "maliciously accuse the Jews" and tell him that because he issued this decree, the consequences dictate he throw the offenders in the fiery furnace. They then claim, "there are some Jews you have appointed to manage the province of Babylon: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. These men ignored you, the king; they do not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up" (Daniel 3:12).
In a furious rage, King Nebuchadnezzar brings them in and tries to dissuade them from their beliefs. He gives them a second chance to bow down to him. If they are ready, they can bow down. But if they do not, the king asks, "who is the god who can rescue you from my power" (3:15).
The three young men replied to the king with a calm assurance. "Nebuchadnezzar, we don't need to give you an answer to this question. If the God we serve exists, then he can rescue us from the furnace of blazing fire, and he can rescue us from the power of you, the king. But even if he does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up" (3:16-18).
The three men are then thrown into the furnace, only to be delivered from the fire by God.
This is the prime example of "God, please answer our prayer to save us, but even if you don't, we will worship you."
We may pray "God, please say yes, but even if you say no, we will praise you," but how do we respond when God actually says no.
How do we respond when God says no to the spouse we desire to have when we are single?
How do we respond when God says no to the baby that we have been praying for day in and day out?
How do we respond when God says no to removing the cancer and making it easier on our family?
How do we respond when God says no to the job we want, the place we want to live, the friends we crave?
How do we respond when God doesn't deliver us from the fiery furnace?
How do we respond when God says, "no."
Are we actually content with the answer the God of universe upon universe provides us, or are we secretly seething at his divine verdict?
The story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego would read differently if they had not been saved. In the moment, they meant it. They knew it. But to the reader, we might wonder how we would feel if we were put in that situation and God answered, "No, I won't deliver you from the fiery furnace at this time. It will be for my glory and your good, but my answer is no."
It points to an instance where God does answer no to Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus, on the eve of his grueling crucifixion and bearing the sins of the world, asks God to remove the cup of judgment from him if there is any other way.
He says, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done" (Luke 22:42).
Jesus prayed that it would not be his human will hoping to avoid pain, suffering, death, and sin, but that it would be the Triune Godhead's divine will that would win out. But Jesus meant it. We see so in that "for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2).
Jesus was content with the better will of the Godhead, the will that his divine nature instituted, more than his human will's aim to have it be less painful.
Are we content with God's better will, even if it hurts us in the moment? Are we content with his willful answer to our prayers, even if he doesn't say yes to our preferred path?
We should be unsurprised if God does say no to some of our prayers, not because our prayers are like lottery tickets, where one might be answered and a million might not be, but because God's secret, divine will is working out our lives better than we imagine them. We can only picture our lives based on what we think is best for them. This is our definition of contentment. But God knows how our lives need to work to do what is best for us and him. God works out all things together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).
Are you content when God answers your prayer with a no?
We should be, even if we fully do not understand.
When God answers your prayer with a no…
Pray Again…But with a Prayer of Praise
Do not cut off communication with God if he says no. He is not a boyfriend or girlfriend whom you should just hang up the phone with if you get mad. Pray again a prayer of praise, asking him to help you depend on him in the moment of no and understand how he would want you to move next.
Process with Someone You Love and Trust
Do not bear it alone. If you are praying something transformative or transitional, process with someone if God does answer no. Let them bear your burdens. Don't be conceited and think that you need to try and convince God on your own to change his mind. Let someone else see if you were walking in faithfulness trusting God or asking him to be a delivery boy with the answer you wanted.
Press Forward in Love, Trust, and Contentment and Pray the Next Prayer
If God answers no, press forward as much as you can. Let the peace of Christ rule over you, even in the midst of getting a rejection. God's grace is sufficient for us, and his mercies are new daily. Love him with all your heart, soul, mind, strength, life, and stewarded possessions and be content with the answer he gave you.
Question: What prayer has God said no to you? How did you respond?