“I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
We may not know where He leads us, but we must know Him to follow Him. If we know Him, our failure only comes in our disobedience and rebellion. We must run after things that matter in obedience.
“I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”
When you marry someone, you realize you do not know them as well as you think. I had only scratched the surface of the person of Danyel Rowe by the time we got to our wedding day. Even today, I’m learning new things. We are similar in many ways, but we can also be very different.
I asked her to give me something to write about that she would want to convey to the world. What would she want to teach others? What information would she want to pass on in her short time on earth today? She quoted William Carey and said, “I’m not afraid of failure; I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.” I want to take the rest of this article to examine this quote
“I’m not afraid of failure.”
This is where Danyel and I part ways. Danyel would not categorize herself as one who fears failure. Does she not want to let people down? Yes. Does she care a lot about what she does? Yes. But she is not afraid of failure. If someone needs her to try something, she will try it.
I, on the other hand, have been afraid of failure. I hate letting people down, especially myself and those close to me. I love fulfilling expectations. I hate not being the best I can be. I want to be allergic to failure, but it is as if it keeps sneaking into my meals, like vegetables, to kids, and I must eat it.
Fear of failure is not a good thing. It can prevent you from taking risks or making the right moves. In basketball, a fear of failure can keep the player from responding quickly to an opportunity to make a play. As a post player, my main role centered on getting rebounds. There were too many times were I was one half-second too slow because I was thinking about what I should do rather than doing it. At that moment, the opponent grabbed the ball, taking advantage of my opportunity. We should think about our decisions, but when we know the answer, we cannot hesitate in fear of failure. We must take our chances to do what is needed to succeed.
Jesus sent seventy-two of his disciples to spread the Gospel among the Israelites. He told them to go into towns with no change of clothes, knock on doors to gain an invitation, and then share that the Gospel of the kingdom was at hand (Matt. 10). He warned them, telling them that some would not receive them well. Jesus commanded them to accept that there was no failure besides disobedience. Fearing failure would jeopardize the mission because it would mean they were not obeying the commands of Christ. There would be no Gospel spread if they were too afraid to open their mouths, knock on doors, and face rejection from the townspeople. Their task centered on obedience and proclamation. If they were too afraid to tell others this wonderful news, then the people could not respond because “faith comes through hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17). Jesus let them know that failure would not come in the rejection of the people, but in the reluctance to proclaim the truth. Michael Scott says, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. - Wayne Gretzky.” This is true. You cannot be afraid to take a shot because you think you will miss it. You won’t make or miss if you don’t try; not trying is the greatest failure of all.
How do we forgo a fear of failure?
We Must Know What We Are Aiming For.
We cannot be afraid of failure. But we also cannot fear what we think is a failure. If Jesus’ goal were for every person to respond positively to the Word of the disciples, they would have categorically failed. However, if his goal were disciples' obedience and the Word's outflow, they would succeed. We must know the stakes. A rejection from the people would not be a failure for the disciples. Failure would be if they hesitated to go and share. We must know what we are aiming for. Otherwise, we will think any form of opposition will be a failure. Success does not come in the absence of hardship and consistent positive results. Success presents itself when you complete the task you set out.
In my job, fearing failure can keep you from trying and innovating. It can make you think that no one cares about what you have to say, so in your mind, you might as well not try it. The reality is that the only failure would be not to do anything at all. This is why we cannot have paralysis by analysis. We must act to try and achieve our goal. If you shoot skeet at a shooting range, you must know what you are aiming for. You must know that you are trying to shoot the targets of red clay if you want to hit them. You will miss the entire goal if you think your target is a bird flying by or an animal scurrying about.
Figure out your goal. Is it a good grade? A change of scenery? More money? A thriving family? Whatever it is, you must understand what you are going after to direct your efforts toward it. Pick a target and go after it. If not, you are shooting in the wind and won’t hit anything when you don’t aim.
We Must Recognize We Are Not Going to Be Perfect.
We must recognize that we will only sometimes succeed at our goal, which must be okay. Jesus is the only human who will have fully accomplished his potential. He will be the only person who has never failed. We all fall short. We will never make straight As. We will not be perfect.
We must not fear failure because we know that failure will come. The key idea we must hold onto is that we will try to do something we will not accomplish. This may be something as small as playing a board game and not winning versus something as grand as trying to get a promotion at a job or becoming the greatest at your vocation or hobby.
Growing up, I wanted to win a state championship for my high school basketball team while playing as a team captain. While I earned the role of team captain every year I played, I moved away after my 10th-grade year. Did I fail because I did not deliver a championship in my few years? Technically, yes. I failed to achieve this goal. I failed. Does this mean I should not have attempted to win a state championship? By no means. Fear of failure may have prevented me from joining the team in the first place, but this would have been the true failure. Only some people win state championships, but few also gain the buy-in of a team to rise to the position of team captain. I led my team well while I played. If I had chosen not to play based on a fear of failure, I would have left this wonderful time and influence in my life. I would not be perfect, and you will not be, either.
Do not allow a fear of failure to prevent you from doing good and hard things. Take the chance even though we are not going to be perfect. No one accomplishes everything they want to. This shows us our finiteness and imperfection. This must not hold us back from trying. Yoda may have said, “Do or do not, there is no try,” but I say, “Do or do not, but you must try.” Even if you do not make it, try.
We Must Run After Things That Matter
“I’m afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.” The first half of this quote speaks to a mindset. The second half speaks to a mission. Our mission must be to run after things that matter. Many people succeed in different areas of life: pop culture, finance, ministry, business, academics, etc. But this does not mean that we should succeed at them.
When we think about setting fire to a fear of failure, we must run wholeheartedly after things that matter. We must discern where God has gifted us with the gifts, abilities, and opportunities to succeed. For me, I love Star Wars. It is my favorite franchise. I know too many facts about Luke Skywalker’s green lightsaber. Does my love and knowledge of Star Wars mean I should orient my life around it and try to become a writer, reporter, or pundit? No, because I do not feel that is where God is leading me. If I devoted my life to this cause, I would be succeeding at something that does not matter.
Are people in the entertainment industry succeeding at something that does not matter? Not necessarily. God has tuned them for the work. He gave them the desires, gifts, and opportunities to do that. If they do it in excellence to glorify God, they succeed in obedience. But He has not for me. Through my gifts, desires, and opportunities, I see God leading me to help others pursue the Great Commission. Right now, I serve the Church in this manner vocationally. I want to run after this because it matters. I work to equip people to take the Gospel around the world. The whole world needs the Gospel of Jesus. Over 3 billion people have never heard the name of Jesus. It matters for me to help make disciples who will become worldwide witnesses to the glory of God. This has led me to work as a vocational missions mobilizer.
Does this mean that everyone should work in ministry? No. Does this mean I will be in my position forever? No. There is a subjective discernment component to this that we must acknowledge. We must trust the Lord and listen to Him. We must work with others as they confirm our callings. When we do this, we can run after things that matter. For some, it may be the medical field. For others, it may be the mission field. No matter what, we must do what matters in God’s grand scheme.
We cannot allow failure to prevent us from running after things that matter. We must seek the Lord’s guidance and join Him where He is already at work. We must go where He wants us. We may not know where He leads us, but we must know Him to follow Him. If we know Him, our failure only comes in our disobedience and rebellion. We must run after things that matter in obedience.